It starts with vulnerability.
Brené Brown's Definition of Vulnerability:
“The definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. ... When the barrier is our belief about vulnerability, the question becomes: 'Are we willing to show up and be seen when we can't control the outcome?'"
Vulnerability is the act in conversation/relationship in letting people know where you struggle. When we train the brain to be courageous and make tough decisions, that's where the strength starts.
ONE - Identify the Vulnerability
A mistake - a bad decision.
A struggle - something that is ongoing that you are not getting better at so feel at a loss.
A weakness - something you brought to life (before the crisis) causing you to be in isolation about (lack of attachment) or give too much power to (lack of boundaries).
An emotion - we are emotional creatures which can include distressing, anxious, sad, overwhelming grief that doesn't go away kind of messy emotion.
A need - no advice monsters, just need to listen and identify with.
TWO - Seek Someone to Be Present With You
Find the right person that can hold this with you. It's ok to talk it out with no advice, no solutions, just someone to really listen. We cannot listen to rationality if we do not feel understood first - it's how the brain works. This does not work with someone that is controlling or into themselves with their own ego.
THREE - Focus on Taking it In
We have to absorb the support: the acceptance, the comfort, the identification — stay with the emotion and breathe it in. Pause is powerful. Then, say "thank you" and be OK to move on.
This is work. It's hard to show weakness.
We all love solutions, but we must have a calm attitude to be able to listen to reason which will eventually bring solution. It all starts with vulnerability first.
Want to chat more about -- feel free to schedule a free consultation today. I want to hear your story!
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