One of our deepest human needs, is to feel loved in life. However, not everyone experiences love the same way. Humans give and receive love differently. When we feel most connected to the people we care about, we experience more harmony and more joy.
No matter your situation — whether you’re living alone, spending 24/7 with a partner or roommates, living with adult children or assisting younger kids through virtual school — the five love languages are an effective set of tools to have in your relational toolkit. When we know another person’s love language, we can choose the actions that will most connect with our partner, friend, parent or child. And when we know which experiences speak to us, we can ask other people for exactly what we need to feel loved best.
Thirty years ago, Pastor and Marriage Counselor Dr. Gary Chapman defined the five love preferences based on years of noticing patterns where couples were misunderstanding one another. Here are ways the 5 love languages can look and feel:
Acts of Service - Actions speak louder than words.
make their morning coffee take out the trash
wash their car before they get up take the kids to school
do yardwork pick up the drycleaning
prepare a special meal make their favorite treat
take the dog for a walk help them clean their room
order take out
Do offer help without being asked.
Don't break promises.
Gifts - Receiving a heartfelt gift.
send flowers sign them up for a class
buy them something they wanted send a surprise to work
make a playlist leave a small gift in their bag
create an album of memories
Do look for special ways to surprise them.
Don't buy or give gifts without thought, they want to know you have been listening to them!
Quality Time - Giving your undivided attention with special time together.
walk together plan a date night
cook together romantic picnic
buy tickets to an event take a road trip
watch a movie
Do plan one-on-one time, group time doesn't count.
Don't use phone or get distracted during your time together.
Words of Affirmation - Specific affirmation delivers power of love and appreciation.
send a love letter put a sticky note on their car
leave a card leave a social post
give compliments call them just to say "i love you"
tell them "3 things" often
Do routinely reaffirm your love and appreciation.
Don't harshly criticize or use too much feedback.
Physical Touch - Appropriate, warm touch speaks deeply.
put your arm around them hug and kiss just because
back scratch or massage go dancing
touch when passing by plan cuddle time
hold hands while shopping
Do sit close and show affection.
Don't miss out on the hello or good bye connection.
If you are looking to verify your love language and discover how you are loved best -- check out this online quiz.
Curious to learn more about your unique happiness factor and how to increase connection in your life?
Let's chat more about your definition of happy and how we can harness your personal strengths and talents to increase your satisfaction of life. Feel free to schedule a free consultation today.
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